confidence is my weakness….as I have none - Sydney University interview tomorrow…and I am terrfied - I cant wait till all of this is over - I keep thinking this in my anxiety all the time >< just one more week - one more thing, but its never over.
I cant afford shit, I am poor and my shitty anxiety is preventing me from getting a job. My dad says my whole future depends on next week. My university interviews - ow no pressure. He doesnt fucken understand this makes me get anxiety >< and I have tried to explain to him how it makes me feel he doesnt understand me and he doesnt give a shit.
I have been with my boyfriend a year and my mum freaks out with us going on a holiday or whatever together or sleeping in the same bed >< I am fucken 18 years old. She never gave me the “talk” and there is no way I can get the pill because we have a joint medicare card….what does she fucken expect??? me to be with my bf a whole year and to not have sex or anything??? all my friends mums have bought their daughters the pill because they care about them and want them to be safe…..why doesnt my mum want to look after me, why is she so embaressed and hides herself from the truth?
I could go on and on forever….. I am just so scared about the future. fuck.
Haha my whole family uses the Internet I’d get in trouble! So yeah me unsure iv also got my other tumblr I can use for non sexual things and no “private life” personal thoughts too…less tempting to use
I am only writing this for it is what I am writing. I have no intention. I am insane. I lay in the dark of night in my bed cuddling my Teddy with the rays of my blue nightlight across all surfaces of my room. Is this reality…it seems too still, too silent….too strange. What am I doing.
